How to Handle an Unholy Mess
Have you ever found yourself swept away by your emotions, letting them dictate your actions and thoughts? One morning, I had a breakthrough that might resonate with you—not during a quiet devotional but in the middle of a workout.
I had a conflict weighing on my mind, and instead of stewing over it, I went for a brisk winter walk to sort through the mess of feelings. With each step, I mentally replayed the situation, allowing myself to feel frustration, hurt, and even anger.
This beautiful painting, “Winter Watercolor”, is by my talented friend Karen Wekesser and used with permission, available here.
Somewhere along the way, it hit me: I often want others to live by facts while I give myself permission to live by feelings.
- I feel overworked; don’t they know how much I have on my plate?
- I feel unappreciated; don’t they see everything I do?
- I feel left out; don’t they realize I’d love to be included?
- I feel misunderstood; don’t they know that’s not what I meant?
I realized that I let emotions steer my thoughts and actions, but I expect others to respond based on truth and reality. What if I turned that around?
Asking the Right Questions
What if, instead of letting emotions take the wheel, I paused to ask the Holy Spirit for clarity? What’s true in this situation? Here’s what I found:
- They love me.
- They’re under stress too.
- They handled it poorly, but so did I.
- I didn’t communicate clearly.
My feelings weren’t the problem. They were valid—they simply were. But not all feelings are worth acting on. Some needed to be shared, others shelved. By sorting through emotions with the light of truth, I saw my own part in the conflict and found compassion for theirs.
Feel, Real, Deal
It’s okay to feel deeply. But then, we must seek what’s real before deciding how to deal. Emotions make powerful motivators for good—when guided by truth. Left unchecked, they lead us into self-pity or even self-righteousness. (And, if you’re like me, maybe a few too many cookies.)
So how do we move forward? By reflecting not just on “What would Jesus do?” but also “What would Jesus think?” and “What would Jesus feel?”
What’s the Holy Thing to Do?
The Bible offers a clear standard for how we should respond to challenges. Peter reminds us:
“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing…” (1 Peter 3:8-9)
When faced with an unholy mess, God often whispers a simple question: What’s the holy thing to do?
Choosing holiness doesn’t mean suppressing emotions. It means allowing truth to shape them and letting them fuel a Christlike response. When you respond with gentleness, respect, and hope in God, people will notice something different. They might even ask, “How do you handle things like that?”
And in that moment, you’ll have the chance to share the reason for your hope—not just in words, but through the evidence of your life.
So next time you’re faced with a flood of emotions, remember: Feel the feels. Seek what’s real. And then, with God’s help, deal with the situation in a way that’s holy.
0 Comments