#2: Learn
Walk It Out ChallengeChallenge #2: Learn One Name
Welcome back, Neighbor! If you are joining me from Chapter 2 of How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, you’ve already got your walking shoes on.
Now, it’s time to take the next step: moving from “that guy with the blue truck” to an actual first name.
New here? You have stumbled onto Challenge #2 of my neighborhood outreach challenge. We are reclaiming our streets, one prayer (and one name) at a time. You can get the full 10-challenge framework in my new book, How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, but today, let’s focus on the power of a name.
The Challenge: Learn One Name
I know, I know—everyone says “I’m terrible with names.” But in the book, I challenge you to drop that excuse!
From the Book:
Your Walk: Learn the name of one neighbor you don’t know yet. If you’ve chatted for years but forgotten their name, swallow your pride and ask again! Write it down immediately in a notebook or in your phone. Use their name several times during your conversation and again when saying goodbye to help it stick in your memory.
Go Deeper: How to Make it Stick
Harry & Sherry were great neighbors – friendly, thoughtful and kind. We talked across the fence often. That’s why I was horrified when they signed the guest list at our last block party as “Harry and Beth.” Had I been calling her by the wrong name all these years?
“Ummmm… is your name Sherry or Beth?” I asked awkwardly.
“Yes!” she answered. Turns out, she goes by Sherry but her family calls her Beth. Whew!
Here are 3 tricks to help you lock those names in:
The “Neighbor” Contact
When you put their number in your phone, add the word “NEIGHBOR” to their contact name (e.g., “NEIGHBOR Dave”). This way, you can search “Neighbor” later and find everyone on your street at once.
The Spelling Bee
If it’s an unusual name, ask them to spell it. This helps “burn” the name into your visual memory.
The Rhyme Game
Create a mnemonic device (Bill lives on the hill) or use alliteration (Peggy was petting a puppy) to help you remember.
The Rules: No Weirdness!
From the Book:
Don’t lead with “I’m terrible with names”—it makes them feel forgettable.
Instead, offer your name first to break the ice and give them a “safe” way to admit if they’ve forgotten yours too.
God’s Way
From the Book:
Knowing someone’s name is a sign of esteem and respect. Isaiah 43:1 reminds us that God has called us by name; we belong to Him. Be like Jesus, who saw and called Mary of Magdala by her name [see video below].
The Words: What to Say
Stuck on how to ask without dying of embarrassment? Use this script from the book:
“I’m so sorry. I should know your name, but I can’t recall it. Could you please tell me again? I’m [Your Name], by the way!”
Ready for Challenge #3?
You’ve got the name—now what do you do with it?
In the 10th Anniversary Edition of How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, I walk you through 10 specific challenges to move from “stranger” to “neighbor,” including how to break the ice, how to host without stress, and how to share your faith naturally.
Try these tips to remember your neighbor’s name for keeps:
- Don’t say you’re terrible with names, because it can give the impression that their name isn’t worth remembering.
- Ask another neighbor for help.
- Repeat their name and use it in your conversation as often as you can without sounding unnatural.
- If it’s an unusual name or one that could be spelled several ways, ask them to spell it—this also helps burn their name in your brain.
- Make a play on words: Create a mnemonic device (Bill lives on the hill) or alliteration (Peggy was petting a puppy) to help you remember.
- Use their name when you say goodbye.
- Tell them your name in case they’ve forgotten, too. “And I’m Amy, and my husband is David.”
- Write it down! Writing their name creates a visual memory. Make an address book just for your neighborhood.
- Create a contact on your phone. I always add “NEIGHBOR” to my neighbors’ contact so I can search for them all at once.
- Fill in their name on your map, along with any other details you picked up from your conversation.
“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Dale Carnegie
Jesus knows your name
I’m a huge fan of The Chosen, the first multi-season show about the life of Christ. The first episode ends in a tavern where a lost and desperate woman known as Lilith has given up all hope. Jesus pursues her, calling her by her given name and her neighborhood, Mary of Magdala. He speaks the words from Isaiah 43:1 over her brokenness,
“Thus says the Lord who created you and he who formed you: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.“
Knowing someone’s name is a sign of your esteem for them. It shows you have seen them, noticed them, and care for them. It is respectful, kind, and thoughtful to know, remember, and use someone’s name.
Your name is written on God’s hand (Isaiah 49:16).
Jesus calls you by name (John 10:3).
Be like Jesus.
0 Comments