Does the Lord ever slay you with just one verse?

He stopped me dead in my tracks during my devotions last weekend. My failsafe, foolproof devotional is to read the Proverbs “chapter of the day” and a few Psalms each day. This takes me through two “wisdom books” each month, because I need all the wisdom I can get. Here’s a bookmark of the readings if you’d like some wisdom yourself. So on Saturday the 21^st, I read Proverbs 21 and started in on Psalm 101. I got no further than verse 2:

I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. Psalm 101:2

This verse had flitted across my mind the night before because, frankly, I was not walking perfectly “within my house.” In fact, I was having a fit in my family room – telling God (no, yelling at God) about my problems, demanding to know what He was going to do about them, and begging to know when He was going to get around to it. “Why won’t you make it easier, Lord? Is this the reward I get for following You? When are you going to give me what I want?” The band warms up and my pity party goes into full swing even as I recall my tantrum.

And now, here it was, the right verse, right in front of me at the right time on the right, random day. Called “the householder’s psalm,” this song of David starts off with praise for the Lord’s mercy and justice. I don’t know about you, but within my house mercy and justice are sold separately, batteries not included. It’s hard for me to extend lovingkindness, goodness and favor until I’ve made my case and decided yours, defended my rights and executed judgment. (Gee, if God acted that way toward me, I’d be in a heap of hot water, wouldn’t I?)

King David was called “a man after God’s own heart,” and verses like Psalm 101:2 make him a man after my heart, too. My heart relates to a guy who promises to behave himself, then plaintively asks, “Hey, are you watching? Do you have me covered? Are you gonna help me out here, or what?!” The best part is, David didn’t walk a perfect day in his entire life. He was a notorious adulterer and murderer. So am I. So are you. I was cold blooded killer that night, ranting and raving, using my words as lethal weapons.

“I will behave myself wisely” means I will be prudent (careful, sensible, discreet, doing the right thing at the right time), circumspect (aware of the circumstances, mindful of the consequences), insightful, pondering the case instead of jumping to conclusions. “In a perfect way” – oh, please! Only Jesus behaved perfectly, but He is my aspiration so here goes: I will behave myself wisely in a perfect, complete, whole, entire, sound and healthful way of living in all my habits and behaviors. Whew! Can I start the day after, like, never?

A promise this bold needs some power behind it, so David cried, “O when wilt Thou come to me?” (It sounds more dramatic in the King James, doesn’t it?) Even as I praise and pray, promising to behave and be good and be holy, I realize I need a mega dose of the Godhead to do it. Without the Holy Spirit’s soft hand over my mouth, I am unable to silence myself. I need Him to come to me – pronto! – to help me behave myself in a perfect way… especially within my home. Why am I at my worst with the ones who should receive my best?

Why is “within my house” the hardest place to be holy? This word for “within” means more than merely “indoors.” This is the place where Sarah laughed, where Rebekah’s twins struggled and where the soul of the widow’s son returned. It is your inward part, your mind, the seat of your thoughts, feelings and desires. It is your soul.

Oh, yeah – the soul. I should know plenty about the soul, I just taught about it last week. I know what it is, how it works, where it breaks down and how God transforms it into His image. What is this, a pop quiz? Very funny, Lord. I got an F. I failed to take my thoughts captive. I failed to let You still my emotions. I failed to seek Your will. I failed to walk within my house with a perfect heart – an upright soul of integrity and innocence. It was an epic fail.

I did manage to read through verse 6, and that’s where you come in. I need some faithful females to be my mentors and counselors as we walk within our houses:

My eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; (s)he who walks in a blameless way is the one who will minister to me. Psalm 101:6

I can’t promise I will always succeed at behaving myself, but I promise I will always try.

Lord, help me to find my own fault and make things right when I’ve wronged someone. Remind me to love others as you love me and forgive others as you forgave me. I don’t deserve Your mercy, yet You withhold your judgment. Come to me and help me do the same as I walk within my house with a perfect heart.