#7: Eat
Walk It Out ChallengeChallenge #7: Eat with a Neighbor
Welcome back, Neighbor! If you are joining me from Chapter 7 of How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, you have probably realized that the way to a neighbor’s heart is often through their stomach.
New here? You have stumbled onto Challenge #7 of my neighborhood outreach challenge. We are reclaiming our streets, one prayer (and one cup of coffee) at a time. You can get the full 10-challenge framework in my new book, How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, but today, let’s break bread.
The Challenge: Share a Meal
From the Book:
Everybody eats, usually several times a day—why not share one of those moments with a neighbor? Your challenge is to invite a neighbor to eat with you. This doesn’t have to be a formal four-course dinner party. It could be grabbing a quick lunch at a local cafe, meeting for a morning coffee, or simply sharing a snack over the fence. The goal is to move from a wave in the driveway to a conversation over a meal, creating a space where a real relationship can begin to simmer.
Go Deeper: Hospitality Hacks
If the word “hospitality” makes you think of Martha Stewart and stress, let’s reset. Here are 3 ways to make eating with neighbors easy (and here are even more!):
Create a “Coffee Kit”
I love to keep a simple kit ready so I never have an excuse not to share.
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What’s inside: Two cute mugs, a few packets of good instant coffee or tea, and a couple of individually wrapped biscotti or cookies.
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How to use it: When a neighbor stops by, you don’t have to scramble. Just boil water, grab your kit, and sit on the porch!
The “Neutral Ground” Rule
From the Book: To keep it low-pressure, start by suggesting a “neutral” location like a bakery or a park bench rather than your dining room if you don’t know them well.
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Why it works: It gives you both an “out.” A coffee shop date has a natural end time; a dinner party in your home can feel indefinite.
The Neighborhood Cafe
Ready to take it to the next level? This challenge is the foundation of my Neighborhood Cafe method—inviting neighbors for a simple open house that eventually leads to a Bible study.
The Rules: No Weirdness!
From the Book:
Eating together is one of the most natural human activities. You don’t need an agenda or a spiritual “sales pitch.” Just focus on being a good listener.
If the thought of a full meal is daunting, remember that a 15-minute coffee date counts!
God’s Way
From the Book:
Throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus using meals as a primary setting for ministry. He ate with tax collectors, sinners, and friends alike.
Sharing a meal—often called “commensality”—is a sacred act that levels the playing field and fosters trust. When we open our tables (or even our local coffee shop booths), we are practicing an ancient form of hospitality that mimics Christ’s own inclusive love. It is in the breaking of bread that eyes are often opened to the presence of God.
Did you know? The Greek word for “invited” (as used in Matthew 25:35) is synagō. It’s the root of the word “synagogue” and it means to gather together. When you invite a neighbor to eat, you are creating a gathering place for God to move.
The Words: What to Say
Keep the invitation simple and specific. Use this script from the book:
“I was planning to head over to [Local Coffee Shop/Cafe] on Thursday morning. Would you like to join me for a quick cup of coffee? I’d love to hear more about your [garden/dog/project].”
Ready for Challenge #8?
You’ve shared a meal—now let’s give a gift.
In the 10th Anniversary Edition of How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, I walk you through 10 specific challenges to move from “stranger” to “neighbor,” including the “Art of Giving” without making people feel indebted to you.
Have a Big Party
- Invite several homes over to eat together. Tell your neighbors you’re inviting others so they catch the excitement.
- If anyone offers to bring something, have a ready list of suggestions such as bread, salad, soda pop, ice cream, or an appetizer.
- Host a pizza potluck, where everyone brings their favorite homemade, store-bought or restaurant pizza to share. Supply chips, drinks and brownies for a complete meal.
- To accommodate many different tastes, serve a taco bar or pasta bar – or try a charcuterie board.
- Have a dessert party! Make an ice cream sundae bar with all the toppings.
Host a Small Gathering
- Invite one neighbor for breakfast. It’s less intimidating to share a morning meal that doesn’t have four courses. Breakfast recipes also tend to be simple to cook and affordable to make. Here are some to breakfast recipes to try: Allrecipes.com, Food Network, food.com, The Kitchn, Yummly
- Splurge on a fancy little dessert and invite a neighbor to share it with you. Coffee and cookies count!
- Be impromptu. Having meatballs for breakfast at my neighbor’s home one Christmas Eve is a special memory, and it only happened because she was spontaneous and kind.
Go Out to Eat
- Try a new place or a tried-and-true favorite together.
- Meeting at the restaurant can be easier if you don’t know one another well.
- Sharing a coupon or lunch special is the perfect excuse to invite a neighbor out to eat.
- Check the hours of your favorite restaurant, then meet for coffee after carpool or dessert on Saturday night.
- Dining out offers flexibility for food allergies and sensitivities, as they are accustomed to meeting special needs.
When we eat together, beautiful things happen! But when we’re lonely, we eat poorly—it’s a proven fact. The European Prospective Investigation of Cancer found that loneliness and social isolation lead to a less nutritious diet that lacks vegetables and variety. Dine with a neighbor and let us know how it goes! There’s no better time to use your good china… but don’t hesitate to use your fanciest paper plates and keep it simple.
A dinner of epic proportions
BV Strong Community Dinner
Every September, the residents of Buena Vista, Colorado come together to share a massive meal down the middle of Main Street.
With over 300 tables and 2,600 guests, the BV Strong Community Dinner is a free event that’s organized by volunteers and funded by local donations.
It’s a glimpse of heaven!
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