“You look nice today!”

You remember where you were standing, the exact weather conditions, and where you bought the clothes you were wearing the last time someone complimented your outfit. Kind words linger.

This Love Your Neighbor Challenge is to PRAISE your neighbor by giving an authentic compliment to brighten her day and warm her heart. Here’s how to flatter a friend (without being fake):

1. Prepare with prayer

Meditate on these Scripture and ask the Lord to give you an encouraging word for your neighbor:

• People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
• Gentle words are a tree of life… Proverbs 15:4
• Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! Proverbs 15:23
• The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. Isaiah 50:4
• Everyone spoke well of him and was amazed by the gracious words that came from his lips… Luke 4:22
• Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6
• So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
• Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

2. Make it last

If you praise someone’s clothing, the compliment fades as soon as they change clothes. Instead, tell them how much you admire and appreciate a lasting character quality:

• Funny
• Helpful
• Witty
• Cooperative
• Ambitious
• Energetic
• Cheerful
• Wise
• Resourceful

3. Say something specific

Take a general complement to the next level by saying something specific you’ve noticed about them. “Your flowers are so pretty! You’ve chosen such interesting color combinations and plants I’ve never seen before.”

4. Emphasize their impact

Explain how this aspect of their personality impacts others. “Your gardens brighten the entire neighborhood. Your hard work brings me joy every time I drive past your home.”

A compliment can lead to conversation
when it’s delivered politely and with sincere interest.
How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird, page 77

5. Deliver with intent

Deliver your praise in person when possible, or send a handwritten card as a lasting keepsake. You can even give them a public shout out on social media (see #8: Post for tips).

6. Don’t expect a response

Most people don’t know how to accept a compliment; they deny it, deflect it or downplay it. Even if your neighbor doesn’t know what to say to you, you can bet they will treasure the words you took the time to say to them.