Do you ever feel like you could have done more, you would have if only you’d had more time, and guilty about all the things you think you should have done?
{sigh} Me, too.
This has been the busiest season of my life. It took everything I had—spiritually, emotionally, physically—yet I still felt like I could have, would have, should have done more.
Immediately after the book launch in early May, we had two proms and our daughter graduated from high school. We put our house in Ohio up for sale, sold it in 17 days, closed in 24 days—then had 30 days to move, 12 of which were spent in Colorado looking for a new place to live (we hadn’t even narrowed it down to which county!). We downsized dramatically and sold most of what we owned. During this time, we also said goodbye to our dearly loved brother-in-law who won his fight with cancer and was healed for all eternity.
We left parents, family, friends, neighbors, church, work, ministry and memories. (We did, however, keep the cat; he was up for debate for a little while.)
Now throw in our 25th wedding anniversary, a speaking conference, a cross-country drive (three times since June), and sending our only child off to college. Oh. My!
One Sunday morning during worship, my regrets overwhelmed me. I could have been a better mother, I wish I would have spent more time with my family, I should have been a nicer neighbor. I could be blogging, I would like to do more marketing for the book, I should have an Open House for my neighbors. I felt like a failure.
But all I heard was, “Grace.”
“Grace, child—give yourself grace. I gave it to you freely, now freely give. You don’t have any trouble giving grace to others, why can’t you give it to yourself?”
I wouldn’t beat up on you in your coulda-woulda-shoulda season, and I’m trying not to be too hard on myself, either. The key word, though, is season. I’ve had a season of massive change, grieving for what’s been left behind while rejoicing with excitement at what lies ahead. I’m giving myself grace for the season, but I won’t allow it to become a lifestyle of busyness or regret.
I’m meeting new neighbors and friends, staying connected with my family, and am full of ideas to help us love our neighbors without being weird! I’ve partnered with my friend Sara Edwards, a passionate follower of Jesus and neighborhood evangelist (and a fashionista, an interesting combination!). We’ll provide tips, tools and teaching to help you form natural relationships that lead to spiritual conversations. We’re writing fresh content, interviewing other neighbor-lovers, planning fun giveaways and praying that God will be glorified in your neighborhood!
God was so faithful, and the new neighborhood He prepared for me is delightful! If you’re ever in Colorado, please visit me in Buena Vista and we’ll have coffee!
In the meantime, hang out with us on Facebook or Twitter, check out the book, come to an event where I’m speaking (Connecticut and Maryland this weekend) – or I’ll come to you and learn about your community. And if you’re recovering from your own coulda-woulda-shoulda season, we can recuperate together on a Caribbean cruise this winter.
Great reminder to offer ourselves the same grace we offer others. And Buena Vista looks gorgeous!! Looking forward to hearing you speak here in CT this weekend and learning more from your blog! Erin
I’m on my way to see you in just a couple of hours! Can’t wait to meet you all and learn about Valley and your community 🙂
Amy, Amy, Amy- you are speaking my language sister. There are always shoulda-coulda-woulda’s…Sometimes they are an indicator of something we need to pay attention to and sometimes they are just the Enemy picking at us. Grace is the only way through. I am in a busy season as well- many amazing things happening- sometimes I want to just pinch myself, it seems overwhelming- thank goodness God does not get overwhelmed with my life. We just keep showing up and moving forward, slowing down when we need to and embracing the journey even when it feels like a roller coaster. God’s got it. Can’t wait to see you soon!
God does not get overwhelmed with my life. God does not get overwhelmed with my life. God does not get overwhelmed with my life.
Must remind myself of this daily! If He doesn’t, then neither shall I.
Cannot wait to see you Saturday, Liz!