Tonight is “Trick or Treat” in my neighborhood–or it would have been, if a single costumed creature had come to our door. We don’t get a lot of traffic in this neighborhood.
“This would be a great night to meet our new neighbors,” I said, so after dinner my daughter and I walked across the street carrying a cauldron filled with candles, candy and small gifts.
Their driveway was full of cars and we could hear people laughing inside. We heard the peal of the doorbell when I pressed the buzzer… but no one answered the door.
Then the house got silent.
And living room went dark.
Then the porch light flickered out.
I had come bearing treats, but got tricked instead. And that’s OK. I’ll try again, sometime when they don’t have company and aren’t expecting little beggars at their door. I’ll try seventy times seven times. I saw teenagers going in there, by golly, and that means there’s a woman inside!
Click here for tips on what to expect when you knock on your neighbors’ door, based on Jesus’ own advice on how to meet your neighbors –
“When you knock on a door, be courteous in your greeting. If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don’t welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way. Matthew 10:12-14 MSG
Is your neighborhood neighborly? What are you going to do about it? Your home can become a sweet sanctuary on the streets of your city. And that, my sweet friend, depends on you, not on your neighbors.
(And me? I’m just glad I bought my favorite kind of candy. Did you know each Smarties™ is only 1.6 calories?)
Nice post, Amy. Next year, bring your cauldron to Allen Street. No shortage of trick-or-treaters here!
Your note does remind me to be a better neighbor beyond the annual candy fest. After having lived anonymously in New York City and Annapolis, MD, when Ryan and I moved into our first Lancaster house, we practically expected the neighbors to pop over and introduce themselves. You know, Midwestern friendliness and all. But no-one did. We chalked it up to the location, a busy street.
Six months later, we moved into our current home. We thought our new neighborhood would be more welcoming with its canopied streets, lit sidewalks and close-knit homes. A place fit for the Cleavers. We looked forward to the doorbell ringing, but it remained silent. We chalked it up to the older residents being set in their ways.
So, when new people moved in across the street – and they seemed to be our age; finally neighbors in our bracket! – we thought, “This is our chance to welcome someone.” As the wife was obviously pregnant, we offered to help the husband unload his trailor and were almost rebuffed. Figuring the timing was wrong, we tried again a few days later with a plate of brownies but only received a lukewarm response. “Were we too eager-beaver?” we wondered. As time went on, we smiled and made small-talk in the street. We were never more than cordial neighbors and pretty much lost touch when they moved away.
After these experiences, we figured that friendly neighborliness really was just TV fiction, and didn’t bring the welcome wagon to subsequent in-movers. While we have got to know some neighbors well, there are many more whom we hardly recognize. Sad really, and I feel a little guilty, too.
However, there’s hope. Three years ago, I chaired a tour-of-homes fundraiser for the local historical society, and brought it to our neighborhood. It was well-received and spurred a spontaneous block party which became an annual tradition.
I’ve also often toyed with the idea of hosting a winter soup night. Your resolve inspires me to go forth. Maybe I can squeeze it in between Thanksgiving and Christmas….
Thank you!
Having tasted some of your cooking, Vanessa, I’m sure the soup night would be a success! You’re right, it is sad that we don’t even know the people who live right around us. My neighbor, Bonnie, lived behind me for several years before we even said hello. Now she’s a dear friend. It’s never too late; don’t give up! I hope you’ll keep reaching out. Each small step leads to a deeper relationship and true friendship.